Hiis' Secret Blog

Hiding Behind my Beard?

I've been rocking a beard for the last 15 years. Never has it been a glorious beard, and because it's curly I've kept it around 10 mm. Just full enough not to look patchy. A serviceable dark beard.

Then it started to gray.

I don't mind having a full gray beard, or a beard where the gray has some kind of symmetry. A lot of guys grays just on the chin, and it looks cool. My beard, however, has become a cacophony of different shades of gray. Somehow, some areas look invisible. It looks patchy. I hate it. I want to shave it off, but of course, it's not that easy of a decision.

15 years ago, another thing happened. As a guy who had always been super skinny, I decided I needed to start lifting weight. So I did, gulping down weight gainer protein shakes with added scoops of pure carbs. Back in that day I could get a 3 kg bucket for $20 that just said carbohydrates in big letters. It worked; I got bigger. By no means massive, but to a point where I didn't feel like that skinny kid anymore. A proper dirty bulk: gaining way more fat than muscle.

That, combined with gravity's cruel march, has left me with a weaker jawline than my beard let on. I didn't realize until today when I set the trimmer to 6mm. The sight shocked me to the core. Obviously, I've stopped eating, but losing neck fat is going to take time, if it's even realistic.

Now I have a decision to make. Hide behind my crappy beard, or stop hiding and show the world what I truly look like without my male equivalent of makeup.

Getting older is brutal.


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